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Right now, when you shop Sephora online (which I don’t recommend if you live in Vancouver, because it takes like a month for your stuff to arrive) you can get 14 scent and skincare samples for your boyfriend (or dad, or brother) including something called beard lube from Jack Black, a brand of super manly skin care products that my boyfriend actually uses and enjoys.  Enter the code HANDSOME at checkout and you’re on your way.

So here’s the thing. As a young man I spent the majority of my hair cutting liaisons at one of three different places.

1) The saloon at Oakridge mall beside the theatre, you know, the cheap one.

2) Random less than 15 dollar barbers all around town

3) In my buddy’s bathroom getting wicked sick mohawks yo.

As I got older I realized that I can’t walk around with just a single thick strang of hair on my dome (well not without wearing a jean jacket with a Nausea back patch on at least). Thus I started getting my hair cut at proper stylists and, yes gentlemen, it makes a world of difference.

Before I would usually just say “crew cut” or “short on the sides and the back” (which you know is the same thing) and the pleasant man or woman would proceed to massacre my hair down to a very utilitarian level. The upside of this experience was 3 fold: cheap, very little talking, and fast. There’s nothing wrong with getting your haircut like this, in fact I would generally assume the vast majority of males would want something akin to this experience.

Though this route does not waver to much from the path, and if you’re at all interested in changing your steez you may want to drop actual cash on your hair.

Now chances are that if you are reading this you probably do have a stylist, but let me just then address the ladies with boys who are hardcore MMA fans and who revere Seth McFarlane like he was John K. (Hipster - 1:  stupid jocks whom beat me up in high school - 15). The experience going to a stylist and the final outcome are so much nicer. Not necessarily better or you look any better, but you feel just good after getting a haircut. This is mainly because the stylist…knows what he or she is doing.

That’s right folks you have to know a few things to cut hair properly. This is not a novel fact to a lot of you but it needs to be said. Anybody can cut hair, well except maybe Christopher Reeves or Helen Keller. Mainly because they’re dead…and well, were crippled (YES I DO COUNT BEING DEAF AND BLIND AS BEING CRIPPLED SEEESH ). But somebody who can cut hair that goes with your head is better. Somebody who can style TO YOU is invaluable.

Okay so fine you’re ready to change so where and how much? Sadly I don’t know all the salons in the world; some basic research is in order, but here’s a few tips.

Your stylist can cut your boyfriend’s hair, most likely at least. Maybe you don’t feel comfortable having your stylist cutting your boy’s hair…for whatever reason. BUT if you have in the near catatonic state you should have in by now you can simply sit him down talk to your stylist and give “suggestions” as how you want him to look. This would make you a complete manipulative bitch but hey it’s in your power.

If you aren’t secretly wanting him to look like Edward then have him know what he wants or have a vague idea that’s open to suggestion. If a stylist is told something specific and does something completely different AND LOOKS GOOD, then she has just saved his ass from something that would look completely asinine. One time I walked into my place and asked for a Chelsea cut thinking it was exactly what I wanted. Not only was it not what I wanted, what I wanted would have looked horrid and she kindly and subtly shaped it into something akin to what I desired but looked better.

Make sure he knows how to talk small talk like a pro. There is nothing worse than a 20-40 minute haircut that is 70 percent silence. I’m actually really guilty of this and I feel really bad for the young woman that usually cuts my hair. It clearly makes her feel real uncomfortable (I can tell when a woman feels like that with me; by the simple fact that we’re interacting in some way). So make sure he knows how to carry and LEAD a conversation.  A good way is for him to actually talk about you and all the cute things that you do. That way the fact that he’s being pampered by another woman won’t creep into his head. Now how you exactly steer the conversation … I don’t know maybe you could just drop subtle hints like leaving this webpage up after you leave his house or something. If the stylist is a guy…I don’t know same rules I guess.  Just make sure if you do gossip with him or her (but why would you, like shitty fan fiction characters only do things like that) that no unwanted info gets leaked. I suggest bribing with alcohol.

Tip…holy fuck please, please tip decently. The fact is that you’re not going to get shitty service unless he’s acting antagonistic or the stylist is fucking nuts. But seeing how involved and attentive he or she is going to be a good tip is key. You know this, I know this, but a guy who normally tipped 3 bucks on a 10 dollar hair cut will probably tip 8 dollars on a 40 dollar hair cut (yes that’s 20 percent, no that’s not enough, up it just a bit).

All common sense really but just a few pointers.

As for you Vancouver folk out there I have a few quick reviews

Jack - the Modern Barbershop.

A place for me for sure. But very much in a “it’s okay to be masculine and have a stylist” way. The place’s decor is sports, specifically hockey sticks and TVs with ESPN and TSN on them. It’s not that bad at all really, they actually have two tiers of cuts, a quick cheap cut (which will run you 20 bucks) or a proper cut with a wash for about 40 bucks. Not bad for somebody who wants a dude’s haircut.

The Beehive - Hair Lounge and Spa

Totally a very well known place in the Vancouver Main street scene. They’ve been around since the initial boom back in 2003 along Main and the girls there are awesome. Constantly busy you’re going to have to make an appointment ahead of time, sometimes on a  weekday you can slide in after a few hours but for the most part calling a head for a Saturday cut is great. 40 dollars and tax get’s you an awesome experience with people with experience (see what I did there? it’s because it’s 3 am and I don’t’ feel like being funny).

So I guess I should introduce myself, I’m a buddy of Gee-Dubs; I have a real name, a real face, but on the internet and at various venues in Vancouver, I’m known as simply That Stupid Hipster. I’m here to provide a male’s perspective in thrifty/frugal grooming, as well as my look into fashion and other crap I’m sure you’re excited about (so long as mistress bible allows it). Although I should mention that I’m not the typical Man’s Man, however, I’m not gushing over the new David Choe Collection, nor am I excited about what the hell Vera Wang is doing, Think of myself as a healthy medium between working class utility and pretentious Indie inanity

With that being said

Bodywashes, the answer to the busy man’s grooming needs. It’s a great solution that you can pick up throw it in the shower and not have to worry about it until the bottle runs out. While it’s certainly a covenant way of keeping clean they aren’t without their faults. I’ve tried a few in the last couple of years just having it at work and I’ve noticed that some are fine and will do for physical workplaces. But let’s be clear about this, these are stop gap measures for afterwork/after gym washing. They should not be used purely as your soap and shampoo. You’re all big boys now we have to get actual toiletries.

Lets see how they stack up shall we?

 Old Spice Red Zone Body Wash and Shower Gels

The first one of these I tried was the Afterhours shower gel. Boasting “Scent Technology” that deploys scent through out the day, Red Zone had little beads of…something, which I can only assume is for exfoliating. While I didn’t notice my skin feeling it was exfoliated, I didn’t have that feeling of gross residue which I got from other. And I did notice that the scent stuck around for a while and was a subtler than cologne but more noticeable than deodorant.

As a soap it was fine no different than bar soap. As a shampoo it left my hair dry and I noticed more dandruff than usual.

Also I would find random blue beads in my hair within the first couple of hours of getting out of the shower.

Did It Clean? Yes.

Did It Smell Good? Sure.

Was it Gross Using It? Of all of them no this was the best for that.

The classic Old Spice Body Wash. Was fine, did everything it was suppose to do, didn’t feel slimy after using it, worked fine as a shampoo. However, as any high school girl knows too much Old Spice is a very bad thing, Now imagine bathing yourself in the distinctive scent. While using this bottle I kinda was self conscious of how much I smelled, though I doubt it actually was that noticeable. And I’m sure it’s preferred rather than the scent of dude coming from you as you’re standing in line.
Did It Clean? Yes.

DId It Smell Good?  Way to heavy Scent wise.

Was it Gross Using It? Texture wise fine whatever, the scent was enough to make me gag
Axe Shower Gel

I hate this stuff. Though Axe is currently the king of body products for guys, bros, and athletes in North America, its shower gel has an unpleasant texture and almost is like washing yourself with something you played with as a kid. While it didn’t produce a gross residue I did feel like I had ‘something’ on me right after I showered. I liken it to washing with shampoo which is appropriate because it seemed to work with my hair fine.

Scent wise it was a little heavy right of the bat but dispersed to nothing within a couple of hours.

Did It Clean? As sad as this may seem, I didn’t feel any cleaner after using this stuff.

Did It Smell Good? Sure.

Was It Gross Using It? Yeah, totes.
Addias Body Wash

For my money the best bang for the buck. Subtle scent, decent soap, garbage for shampoo though however I don’t depended on a body wash for constant day to day use. I would say that it’s fine in conjunction with actual shampoo and conditioner for going to work but for pleasant personal hygiene/date night alittle more effort is..suggested.
Did It Clean? Yes, fo’sho.

Did It Smell Good? Yeaup and out of all of them it’s the least, aggressive?

Was it Gross Using It? Nada.

In the end for about 8 bucks across the board you can grab something which is fine for a workplace locker room or for places you just want to use one bottle for everything, (school, the gym). I wouldn’t recommend these for constant hygiene but for something quick and easy any of these are fine. The Adidas wash is my personal favourite all of these. But again, these are just stop gap used when I’m marooned on some God-forsaken island.

Though I mention some were grosser than others while using it I would like to point out these are really all gross. Seriously proper soap proper shampoo and yes proper conditioner are mainstays in my shower…box thing.

In order to keep Neon Bible’s updates as frequent as possible, I’ve decided to look for another blogger to join the team. While I write mainly about fashion, Neon Bible is still in essence, a beauty blog and I need someone to help me cover that particular content area. I’m looking to add at least one new blogger to the website, if not two.

What I’m looking for:
- Someone to write about and review makeup and other beauty products (this includes hair, skin care, perfume, nails etc.)
- Someone interested in covering men’s grooming products
- Someone interested in reviewing beauty books
- Someone who can contribute at least one blog entry a week
- Someone who enjoys not only beauty, but writing, and writing with a little humor

Assets:
- Someone who lives in the lower mainland would be great, but isn’t a requirement. Part of this blog’s focus is Vancouver beauty/fashion/shopping and it would be cool to have a team member who knows the area and knows where you can buy particular products locally.
- Someone with a big arsenal of beauty products that they could review

What you get:
- Exposure (especially in Vancouver if that’s where you’re living)
- The occasional product to review
- A new friend! (I mean… I’m not that pathetic, really.)

If you’re interested in joining my fun little team, please email me for further information.

While we’re on the subject of men’s skin care, let’s talk a little bit about hands.

My boyfriend is obsessed with nail care… in all the wrong ways. He has one nail clipper, for toe nails, which he uses to trim all the white off of his nails, and then ugh, his hang nails. He always rips them off, and the wrong way too so it just makes them worse. It’s just gross.

If your boyfriend or husband suffers from this same affliction, maybe it’s time for him to have his own… dare I say… manicure kit!

The Body Shop offers a simple little kit for $18 CAD that includes scissors, a clipper, a file and a cuticle pusher. It’s simple, not the least bit overwhelming, plus, it comes in unisex packaging so not to put anyone off.

While you’re at the Body Shop, why not pick up an Almond Oil Nail and Cuticle Pen to go along with your kit. My boyfriend hates the idea of hand moisturizer, so his hands and nails are always incredibly dry. This little stick works wonders on nails and fingertips and drys pretty quickly leaving no goopy residue so your boyfriend will have no excuses not to keep his nails in shape.

For only $12 CAD it’s worth it.

What are you going to be getting your boyfriend or husband for Valentine’s Day this year?

Valentine’s day is coming soon, and while many of us have already picked out our outfit, our eyeshadow colour palette and our perfume for our special evening, we still haven’t decided on a present for our boyfriend, and no, a Kinder Surprise gift pack doesn’t count.

This year, I’m going out on a limb and getting my boyfriend… beauty products! Or I guess I should say “grooming products.” A crappy West Coast winter has left everyone’s skin dry and crackly, even those who are moisturizing. I don’t think it’s fair that men should have to suffer though the pains of crappy skin just because they don’t know any better or are worried about being spotted at the drug store looking confused with a handful of women’s moisturizers.

So, for the boyfriend who needs help but doesn’t know where to start, I recommend getting him some Anthony Logistics for Men Oil Free Moisturizer. It’s lightweight and oil free, which is incredibly important in a men’s moisturizer, as guys usually are incredibly averse to goopy products and don’t like the feeling that there is something actually on their skin. It’s a little steep at $34 CAD but your boyfriend or husband will thank you for it.

If you’re in the Vancouver area, Anthony Logistics products are available at Beauty Mark in Yaletown and Momentum Grooming on Burrard.